My oldest bestest friend, just happened to be my sister-in-law, she became my friend at the same time I met her brother now the ex. But we shared so much alike through time, our girls only 18 days apart in age as her & I are only 9 days apart. Her of course older :). So when we both went through nasty divorces at the same time we remained close. When I met my husband now we always included her in our lives, he sort of like inherited her as well as 2 children. If something broke @ her house or she needed anything we were always there to help.
She never really dated, oh there was a few not so nice guys who she went on "dates" with. But she didn't want a serious relationship she said, but I always think she was hoping her ex would come back.
Well many years later she of all people did what I would never thought of, she had an affair with a married man. This was crushing to me, as both of our men cheated on US. I just couldn't understand, there were many nice guys she never would even talk to that didn't contain baggage. So for a very very long time I couldn't be her friend, I was nice but honest, what she did I felt changed how I saw her as my friend. Like really did I know her at all or was this real love or just "I am 50 I need someone any one" type of a deal. And it doesn't help that I am not all that taken with the man either.
With months upon months we didn't hardly see each or talk. Then I realized hey she isn't contacting me either and she always wanted us to do stuff for her or with her. She didn't even send John birthday cards or the kids totally unlike her. But this new man occupies all her time. So me being me I wrote a letter explained how I was sad we weren't friends and how this hurt. Well she said she still wanted to be friends. But still didn't see any extra effort.
So I decided, I do know her and she isn't one to always take the first step, and her coldness is maybe she is hurt too or embarrassed to some degree.
Here comes the I am older and smarter; I decided I miss my friend, I am happy she has someone who she does stuff with, who she is happy with and seems to get along very well. Granted he isn't my choice, but he isn't my man. I decided I will still call her for a quick shopping trip, drive to see her great nephew or her nephew in college or just get a beer, me I will call I don't need to feel grumpy about not hearing from her. I am smarter and much happier I did call because our trips are still the best and she is my true best friend and life is happier with her in it.-
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