What I see is really what I think it is.

I have read all the horror stories of what a "meth head" looks and acts like, I have thought maybe I had seen some but till Saturday I wasn't so sure.  While in a town known for this, we went to a convenience store and as I sat waiting for the husband I noticed a young man and his girl.  Both were deathly thin and their color was off, the girl had on so much make up to cover up the red spots on her face.  The boy opened his mouth to speak and of the teeth I saw all were black.  The boy kept looking around, twitching and picking. Then an older lady came out with large full sugar Dew's .  I thought oh my I really have seen first hand a sad case of what the nasty drug does.  As I sat there my husband has been watching the boy from inside, when he got in the truck, he tells me exactly what I had observed and been thinking.    


So I now know that when I see something I think is, it really is, that I do know what I am seeing.


In all of this I thank God that my children or my family or close friends have not been taken over by this horrible drug.

Kept My Head

Usually when I can't find something that is pretty important and on somewhat of a time deadline I start to do what my better half calls,  FREAK OUT, but not today.  I really have no explanation for why I didn't I just thought it has to be here some place and is having that nasty meltdown going to help?

Well after taking a break from what I was looking for by frosting some tasty Valentine Sugar Cookies I had a SMART idea, go back through the file slowly and walla there it was!

Guess after all the years of my panic moments it has occurred to me that it won't help, yes I am learning I am smarter.

Where did customer service go?

Alright so I made the mistake of trusting my cell company by telling me if I switched my program and sign up for paperless & automatic withdrawal it would be less then I am paying now.  I know, too good to be true but I asked her 2 times to verify.

Yep you guessed it, I received my 1st bill of the now $40 higher amount yes $40.  So I called and my so called customer service rep informed too bad.  Really that is how you talk to your customers?  She said it was my fault for believing that first girl.  I SHOULD have investigated that.  Me, the customer calls the company is informed of what new amount will be and I should investigate, so how was I to do this?  I thought calling the company was the way.  I then asked to go back to my old plan by some miracle the computer has lost all the codes with my account.  How convenient.

Then being older and wiser I aired my complaint to BBB, hopefully this problem will be addressed.  I know I am screwed with this company for now, till Dec then poof I am gone as I have no contract enforced. What I would like to see is that a company has to email, fax or mail the agreed amount and then the customer returns it that way there is no doubt of the amount and a customer can prove that their employees are not doing their jobs.

And when I tried to tell this not very nice gal there is no way I would call to lower my bill and agree to a higher amount, she laughed and said "I don't know that" where I wanted to throw my cell phone at her!!

Being an old time friend

My oldest bestest friend, just happened to be my sister-in-law, she became my friend at the same time I met her brother now the ex.  But we shared so much alike through time, our girls only 18 days apart in age as her & I are only 9 days apart.  Her of course older :).  So when we both went through nasty divorces at the same time we remained close.  When I met my husband now we always included her in our lives, he sort of like inherited her as well as 2 children.  If something broke @ her house or she needed anything we were always there to help.

She never really dated, oh there was a few not so nice guys who she went on "dates" with.  But she didn't want a serious relationship she said, but I always think she was hoping her ex would come back. 

Well many years later she of all people did what I would never thought of, she had an affair with a married man.  This was crushing to me, as both of our men cheated on US.  I just couldn't understand, there were many nice guys she never would even talk to that didn't contain baggage.  So for a very very long time I couldn't be her friend, I was nice but honest, what she did I felt changed how I saw her as my friend.  Like really did I know her at all or was this real love or just "I am 50 I need someone any one" type of a deal.  And it doesn't help that I am not all that taken with the man either.

With months upon months we didn't hardly see each or talk.  Then I realized hey she isn't contacting me either and she always wanted us to do stuff for her or with her.  She didn't even send John birthday cards or the kids totally unlike her.  But this new man occupies all her time.  So me being me I wrote a letter explained how I was sad we weren't friends and how this hurt.  Well she said she still wanted to be friends.  But still didn't see any extra effort.

So I decided, I do know her and she isn't one to always take the first step, and her coldness is maybe she is hurt too or embarrassed to some degree.

Here comes the I am older and smarter; I decided I miss my friend, I am happy she has someone who she does stuff with, who she is happy with and seems to get along very well.  Granted he isn't my choice, but he isn't my man.  I decided I will still call her for a quick shopping trip, drive to see her great nephew or her nephew in college or just get a beer, me I will call I don't need to feel grumpy about not hearing from her.  I am smarter and much happier I did call because our trips are still the best and she is my true best friend and life is happier with her in it.-

Moving a memory

Yesterday was one of those moments that actually tells me YOU ARE getting older, you just don't want to see it.  Many yrs ago, ok, 25+ I received an old piano from my ex's great aunt, she was a treasurer.  That is probably why I wanted to tackle the large project of refinishing.   Then a few years later the husband became the ex.  I think in his guilt of what he had done to me and the kids he only asked in our divorce was that I keep the piano in his family pass it on to our daughter.  Well he knew that was a given.  Well for a few yrs the daughter has had her own home, but I wasn't ready to part with the piano and she didn't push it.  But now my husband & I are in the middle of re carpeting most of our house, take my word you don't want to do this all at once.  So the piano was in the way and it is a beast. I told the daughter round up 4 good strong men and take it to your home, I think I am ready to part with it. 

I think I still see myself the 20ish gal who worked on this every night & weekend for months taking each piece apart and then back together to make this piano look spectacular.  Now I have given this memory to my daughter, it is strange she now is in possession of my past.  I know this memory of what it meant to me will still be in the story she tells about the piano to family & friends, so the memory isn't gone just moved to a new home for more memories to be made....